When your mind is full of rose-colored dreams about matrimonial bliss, the last thing that you could imagine is ever having a major falling out with your wonderful spouse-to-be. After all, you love every second that you spend together, and so far all of your conflicts were solved with an apology and make up kiss. Now that you are getting married, some friends or relatives might ask if you’ve done premarital therapy yet. If not, here’s just a few reasons why going to counseling now helps to stop major issues from ever having a chance to ruin your happiness.
Find Solutions for Religious Differences
Today, many couples are no longer bound by restrictions from their religion regarding their choice of a spouse. Or, you and your partner may have chosen to get married anyway, even if it brings religious repercussions. Either way, your religious background can still be a strong influence on your thoughts and perceptions on life, even if you are not actively practicing your religion. These issues can sometimes arise after you have children when one partner decides to raise the children a certain way. In premarital counseling, you will have a chance to decide things such as whether your children will be raised under a specific ideology so that no one is surprised later on.
Resolve In-Law Problems Before the Holidays
Sure, your future mother-in-law is a little quirky, or your brother-in-law rubs you the wrong way. Yet, these things are just minor inconveniences when tolerating the in-laws means that you get to spend the rest of your life with the most amazing person in the world. The truth is that it’s easy to overlook in-law trouble when you have your eye on the prize. However, a few months down the road could have you battling it out with your spouse over how you spend the holidays. Alternatively, you may be the person caught in between a spouse who does not get along with their parents. The Marriage Guardian found that 13 percent of couples that sought marriage counseling did so because they didn’t get along with the other partner’s family members. Figuring out how you will keep relationships harmonious with the in-laws now helps you avoid resenting those family gatherings down the road.
Talk About the Tough Topics
You know your partner’s favorite restaurant and what they dream of doing after retirement. However, are you sure that you know how they handle their finances, or have you talked about what would happen if one of you faced an inability to conceive children when you want to build a family? It is common for couples to overlook some of the main issues that cause a divorce when they talk about the future. Although you want to avoid doom and gloom thinking, it is also important to be realistic. A couples counselor knows how to approach the tough questions that you might be afraid to ask while bringing up some that you may not have thought about yet. While you don’t need the answers to these questions today, you should have a good sense of how your partner might handle events in the future.
Heal From Past Experiences
The past can come back to haunt you. This is why every couple should make sure to heal from past trauma as much as possible before entering a committed relationship. During premarital counseling, you can discuss trust issues and talk about ways to prevent infidelity. If you were the children of divorced parents, then you may also have concerns about how to make your marriage work. Gaining tools to use such as learning how to communicate properly helps you feel more confident about letting go of the past.
Whether you need a brief counseling session or a series of meetings with a therapist, the effort is worth it. A study reported by Health Research found that premarital counseling improved the success rates of marriages by 30 percent, which means that just going to one session improves your chances of stopping problems before they can develop. Be proactive: talk to one of our premarital counselors about how to build a foundation for a healthy marriage even before you say “I do.”