There’s no doubt that break-ups can be tough. No one likes to get broken up with and it’s difficult to break up with someone who loves you. When you’re the one who’s getting dumped, it’s difficult to control your emotions and not lash out in one way or another. When your relationship has ended, there are a few things you need to remember and completely avoid. You don’t want to be in a position where you lose sight of who you are in the midst of a bad break-up. When your relationship has ended, remember to avoid doing these five things and you’ll be in a lot better shape.
1. Don’t gossip about your ex.
Even though it is easy to look at your ex and meditate on all the wrong things your ex did to you, it’s important to remember to maintain positivity. The more you spend time contemplating the negative, the more negative experiences you’ll cultivate. Before long, your entire life will be filled with negativity. People will ask you about the relationship and what went wrong. Do your best to avoid talking negatively about the situation. As hard as it may be, try your best to look at it from the perspective where you learned that this wasn’t the person for you and that you’re both moving on. If people try to get the juicy details, do not relay them. It will only create more unnecessary drama and make the break-up far harder to deal with.
2. Don’t blame everything on your ex.
Look, it takes two to tango. Both parties play a role in why the relationship wasn’t meant to be. Take a look at what you could’ve done differently in the relationship instead accusing your partner for everything that’s gone wrong. Not only is this a mature practice, it sets you up for success because you can learn and grow from your own mistakes.
3. Don’t doubt your self-worth.
Just because your ex couldn’t appreciate the amazing attributes you brought to the relationship doesn’t mean you don’t have any. In many cases, when the love of your life takes the exit ramp, it can feel like your world is over. Your self-esteem and self-worth plummet. Even though this may happen, surround yourself with the kinds of friends and relatives who build you up and remind you why you’re amazing and worth it. When people are constantly pouring positive messages into you and you reflect on the positive, you’ll be able to become stronger emotionally and believe in yourself again.
4. Don’t become a hermit in a shell.
Once your relationship is over, it’s easy to go down a dangerous path of wondering what you did wrong, why you’re not worth it and how you’re going to stay on the couch and eat ice cream forever. Do not get into this kind of mental and emotional slump. Do your best to avoid multiple pity parties about yourself. One or two pity parties might be necessary to get the feelings out of your system. If you find yourself in a position where you’ve become a hermit and you don’t want to get out because of the negative feelings, that’s precisely the time to do your best in shaking it off and getting out into the world where you really belong. How? Find new activities to get involved in. Make new friends. Go to the movies. Once you get out and about, meeting new people, having new experiences, you’ll soon find that the fact that your relationship ended has faded, and will continue to fade. And you’ll be able to happily move on.
5. Don’t deny that you need help.
We know, heartbreak isn’t easy to deal with. If you find yourself in a position where you’re genuinely struggling to move on, do not be afraid or ashamed to seek professional help. One of the worst things you can do is suffer in silence. If you’ve found yourself in a depressed state, you need to take seriously and work through it. Don’t be embarrassed to do this. Besides, seeing a therapist is excellent for mental health and clarity. If you are embarrassed to do this, all you need to do is schedule your appointment and don’t tell anyone that you’re doing this. Therapists are required to keep their clients and information completely confidential. So, your secret is safe with them. Don’t be afraid to seek help and overcome the hurt. If you’d like rapid access to highly qualified professionals, consider the ones at Cuppls. We’ll be happy to help you walk through the end of a relationship to experience joy on the other side!