When you have spent months or even years with someone else, it is only normal to wish that you could have them back after a breakup. You fell in love with your ex over a period of time, and that doesn’t just evaporate when your relationship ends. Unfortunately, loving your ex and being able to stay together are not always possible. When you find yourself still in love and unable to let go, use these tips to help you move on from your ex without feeling that you’re losing control over your emotions.
Fully Immerse Yourself In the Sadness
It sounds counterintuitive, but actually allowing yourself to feel the pain of breaking up helps you to move on. This is because giving yourself some grieving time encourages your brain to fully process that the relationship is over. So go ahead and play that sad music, or indulge in a day spent in bed ruminating on the past. Just make sure to set a deadline so that you don’t get stuck in a rut. Give yourself a day or two, and then move on to putting your life back together.
Try to Respect Their Space
There are times after a breakup when you may find yourself wanting to reach out. While this may be necessary if you have kids together, it is often better to wait it out if you don’t have a serious reason to contact them. Your ex also needs time to get over the relationship, and reaching out too soon can only result in sending mixed signals. One way to show your love is to respect both of your needs to heal from the ending of your relationship.
Pack Your Schedule With Fun Activities
If you think about it, your ex is probably on your mind far more when you are experiencing a downtime in your day. For example, you might catch yourself thinking about them during a lull at work or right before you fall asleep. Try to plan so many things to do that you don’t have much time to focus on your ex. Grab a novel and immerse yourself in it before falling asleep, or read a few jokes during a break at work. These little mini-lifts to your spirit can work as a mega-help in moving your life forward.
Lean On Your Friends for Support
Friendships sometimes get neglected during relationships, but remember that no one else quite knows how to make you smile like your best friend can. Let your social group know that you are struggling with moving on, and plan events that help take your mind off of your ex. You never know if your next girl’s or boy’s night out might even lead to you meeting someone new.
Instead of picturing what your ex might be doing, focus on taking care of yourself. Indulge in a night of pampering with a bubble bath and a glass of wine, or you could spend a whole Saturday gaming out or enjoying a movie marathon. As you do, revel in the fact that you now have time to do all of the things that you enjoyed but your ex never wanted to do. This makes living the single life look a little better every time you indulge your whims.
Do Something Completely New
Self-improvement always helps you feel better about rough patches in your life. Brainstorm a few things that you have always wanted to do and commit to doing at least one, two or more of them. For instance, you could take a solo cross-country road trip, or you could sign up for woodworking or cooking classes. Experiencing some personal growth makes you feel like a different person from whom you were when you fell in love with your ex.
Identify What You Can Learn From the Relationship
It is important to remember that your relationship wasn’t all for nothing. Many of the qualities that you loved about your ex can still be incorporated in your life. Perhaps you love their carefree spirit, and you felt that they made you feel more relaxed. Those lessons are still there, and you can tap into them any time you want, even after you move on.
Moving on may be hard to do, but it is necessary for your personal happiness and growth. As you let go, remember that you can always reach out to us for help with learning to live without your ex. Once you do, you can look forward to the next phase in your life where you have the freedom to make your dreams come true.