When a relationship ends amicably, it is normal to want to retain some type of friendship. After all, this is the person with whom you shared some of your most important memories with, the person you have learned to depend upon to be there through thick and thin. However, the question still remains of whether or not it is good for you two to maintain contact. While there is no right or wrong answer to this enduring question, you can make the best decision for your happiness by examining the following details regarding your relationship.
Consider Your Prior History
Many romantic relationships begin when two platonic pals start seeing each other in a new light. Over time those romantic feelings can fade and leave one or both of you wishing you could turn back the hands of time. If this is the case, then you might be able to go back to being just friends, yet you may need to seek online dating advice to figure out how to work through any residual painful emotions leftover from the romance.
Explore Your Motive
It is also important to figure out why you want to stay friends. Are you still harboring fantasies about getting back together? Or do you just know that your ex is a better friend than a lover? Make sure that you are both on the same page regarding the reasons why you want to remain friends so that neither one of you gets disappointed if things don’t go as planned.
Factor In the Reasons For Your Breakup
There are instances when staying friends is never a good idea. For example, abuse in relationships leaves damage in its wake such as the inability to trust your ex not to hurt you again. These types of negative behaviors can also continue even once you are just friends. If your ex verbally, physically or emotionally abused you, then it is best to part ways.
Talk About How You Will Handle Dating
Our relationship experts agree that the best time to talk about seeing other people is before it happens. Use positive relationship communication tips such as practicing active listening to discuss how much each of you wants to know about future partners. For some people, it is preferable to avoid talking about dates until they get serious, while others will feel left out if you don’t tell them they are seeing someone new. Knowing your ex’s preferences will help you respect his or her boundaries while you work together on transforming your relationship.
Be Prepared To Change the Relationship
Both friendship and romance are dynamic situations that may change over time. For example, you may need to pull back from your ex if you discover that your feelings for them places you at risk for cheating in relationships. Alternatively, you and your ex could rekindle your romance in the future if circumstances change such as their moving closer to your home. Either way, be flexible, and remember that talking about the changes in your feelings or lives is important for both of you to be happy.
Of course, the world would be a more beautiful place if everyone could stay friends with their ex. As you work through your feelings, remember that relationship experts are always here to guide you through the process of finding positive solutions to your relationship questions.