Divorce can happen at any stage of a marriage. In fact, many couples are getting divorced later in life, but if you are among them, it is normal to feel alone when you are one of the few people in your social group that are single after 50. While you may feel like you will be single forever, the truth is that many older adults are out there looking for others who are interested in a relationship. The secret to connecting with these people is to be proactive as you enter the dating scene. Although you might feel a little bit rusty when it comes to dating, you can use the following tips to get yourself ready to meet the man or woman of your dreams.
Check Your Baggage
The majority of people who are dating in their 50s have been through a divorce. This means that almost everyone is entering the dating scene with a few challenges such as having to let go of past baggage. Do your future partner and yourself a favor by working through your relationship issues with a counselor first. Dealing with your baggage and putting the past behind you allow you to go on each date with fresh hope for the future.
Explore Some New Interests
While you are single, take advantage of it by exploring a few of the dreams that you have put aside over the years. Whether you go back to school or take up hiking, developing new interests makes you a more exciting person to date. You also never know who you might meet while you are trekking through the wilderness or taking a cooking class. Even if you don’t meet someone there, you will have some great ideas for future date activities.
Define Your Needs
There’s no denying that things have changed since you last dated, and the things you sought out in a relationship before may no longer apply. For instance, you may just want someone to eat lunch with a few times a week. Alternatively, you may prefer a marriage-minded person who is willing to travel the world with you. Either way, knowing what you are looking for allows you to date with intention. While you wouldn’t want to miss out on a new friendship, it also helps to avoid leading someone on when you have completely separate goals.
Be Willing to Branch Out
Although you should know where you want a relationship to go, it is also important to avoid being so stuck on a list of attributes for a potential partner that you fail to see a diamond in the rough. That biker type may just spend their weekends doing charity rides that work perfectly with your love for volunteering. Alternatively, that quiet type may just light up once you discover that you both have a passion for gardening. Looking at dating as an opportunity to branch out and explore different personality types helps take the pressure off of trying to view everyone as a potential long-term partner.
Reassess Your Dating Strategy
It takes a few dates to be able to tell how you are doing. You will notice that no two dates are the same. If you’ve gone on a few and are still struggling, then take a break and assess what is going on. Seeking a neutral perspective from one of our relationship experts here at Cuppls can help you figure out what you are doing right or wrong so that you can adjust your strategy. For instance, you may realize that you are choosing the wrong venues for your date; too much noise makes it hard to connect. Alternatively, you may be coming on too strong or not showing enough interest. Figuring out how you may be coming across to your dates helps you to do better on your next ones.
While dating is tough, the great news is that everyone who goes on a date with you is also looking for someone new. Start by figuring out what you want in a relationship partner and go out with the confidence that comes from knowing that life truly does get better after getting divorced in your 50s.