It hurts when your partner is unwilling to move forward in your relationship by committing through marriage. Their refusal to get married may leave you doubting their love, and you may even find yourself defending them to friends and family members who question why you stay in a relationship that seems to have no future. Overcoming commitment issues is a topic that we constantly encounter since this relationship problem makes couples truly question their compatibility. The decision to stay or go is complicated, but you can use these healthy relationship tips to assess your ability to be happy in a partnership that may not lead to marriage.
Consider Their Reasons For Avoiding Marriage
It is highly possible that your partner’s noncommittal status has nothing to do with their love for you. Perhaps they grew up in a home where cheating in marriage caused them to distrust the legitimacy of the institution. Alternatively, they may just be nervous about participating in such a public ceremony, or they may worry about being able to financially support a family. These types of issues can all be worked out if you are both willing to do the work in relationship counseling for couples.
Seek Counseling For Commitment Issues
During your counseling sessions, you can get to the heart of the matter concerning why your partner doesn’t want to commit. Be prepared to be surprised in these sessions since talking to a professional relationship expert may prompt a partner to reveal information such as a past history of abuse in relationships that leaves them nervous about trusting you with their future. Keep an open mind, and be willing to work through issues that could make it possible for you to stay together.
Improve Your Communication Skills
The prospect of marriage is far less exciting when you spend most of your time fighting. It is possible that your partner simply cannot look forward to a future together when your present relationship is full of conflicts. Alternatively, your partner may be afraid to get married if you refuse to talk about important topics that reassure them about the future. Since many young boys were taught to hide their feelings, improving communication skills is one of the best relationship tips for men who are concerned that their silence may be making their partner nervous about making a commitment.
Explore Your Alternatives
Staying in or leaving your relationship are obvious options that ignore other alternatives. For example, many partners find that living together serves as a compromise, but this is best if you understand that it may never lead to marriage. Other partners decide to try online couples therapy to see if they can reach an understanding. If you don’t want to leave your partner, then considering alternatives to marriage can help you reach a temporary agreement while you work on underlying commitment issues.
Focus Upon Your Goals For the Future
There are some times when waiting for marriage may not be ideal. For instance, you might be older and want to have children, and waiting for five more years could impact your ability to establish a family. In other cases, you might find that a compromise still lets you meet your goals such as living together to improve your finances. Understanding your reasons for getting married helps you decide how happy you will be in a relationship that may not lead to marriage.
Conflicts regarding marriage can make or break your relationship. While this decision isn’t easy, sticking to your goals is important for your lifelong happiness. By approaching this topic with an open mind, you can get to the root of your partner’s reasons for not wanting to commit so that you can decide how to move forward.