Anyone who has ever been cheated on can say without a doubt that all is definitely not fair in love and war. Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce, yet making the decision to cheat also leads to far more problems than just a break up of your marriage. Whether you are considering an affair or you are picking up the pieces after being cheated on, it is important to understand how cheating does far more to a couple than merely break a few rules.
Cheating Destroys Self-Esteem
While it may seem like a cheater has no care in the world, the truth is that they often feel terrible about what they are doing. Over time, continuously straying outside of the marriage wreaks havoc on a person’s self-esteem. It is also common for the person who was cheated on to wonder what they did wrong. They may compare themselves to the other person involved in the affair, or they may question if they were just not good enough to keep their partner faithful. Once self-esteem is lost, rebuilding it takes time and help from a professional therapist.
The Children Are Often Innocent Victims
An affair may seem like little more than a mutual agreement between two consenting adults to stray outside of their marriage. However, the repercussions of infidelity often filter down to other members of the family. Once an affair is found out, kids struggle with watching as their parents deal with the aftermath. For example, a divorce leaves kids having to split their time between two homes and face major changes, such as having to move when they had no choice in the matter.
The Guilt Is Unbearable
Living with guilt will make people do things that they wouldn’t normally do. For instance, a partner who has been unfaithful may even accuse their spouse of doing the same thing. Alternatively, they may spend so much time trying to cover up their affair that they are unable to focus on anything else. Eventually, guilt catches up to a person, and it will come out in other ways, such as starting an argument with your spouse just to release the tension.
Other Types of Infidelity Are Often Involved
Carrying on an affair takes time and money to keep it hidden. An unfaithful partner is likely to also engage in financial infidelity as they try to hide the money that they spend on hotel rooms, dinners, and gifts for their lover. Later, these transgressions will also come out along with the affair, which makes it even harder to recover.
There May Be Long-Term Health Consequences
Many people cheat with escorts out of the belief that it keeps things from getting too involved since there is not an emotional component. Unfortunately, finding out that a partner cheated with a professional escort is just as devastating as knowing that they had an affair with a coworker. This also adds the other issue of bringing home a sexually transmitted disease (STD) that leaves the unsuspecting spouse dealing with the consequences of being exposed to an illness without their knowledge.
Reputations Are Damaged
Affairs are the kind of thing that gets the gossip mills flowing, and the last thing that you need is to know that your coworkers know all about your mistakes. Infidelity is still viewed as shameful in our culture, and you may find that the consequences extend as far as your work, neighbors, and social circles. Since many people look down on cheaters, you may find it hard to earn back the trust from people who admired you before your reputation became tarnished.
Cheating requires breaking more than a few rules. It also means potentially breaking the hearts and trust of the people that you love. While it is possible to recover from an affair, it takes time and a lot of working through the issues that arise once the truth comes out. At Cuppls, our relationship experts are experienced with helping people prevent and overcome infidelity, so you know that you can be honest with us when you reach out for help regarding an affair.