Cheating at any time in a relationship is reprehensible, yet the thought of your partner having an affair during such a special time in your life — right after the birth of your first child — feels even worse. Sadly, men are more likely to cheat at times when their partners feel as though the relationship is getting even closer. The betrayal hits extra hard when you have sacrificed so much to bring your little one into the world. Whether your relationship has been rocked by your partner’s affair or you are concerned that he or she might stray, being aware of the reasons as to why men cheat after their first child is born will help you gain a better perspective.
Feelings of Inadequacy
Many men are overwhelmed at the thought of becoming a father, and this is especially true if your partner’s father was not did not have the best role model. Sometimes, men feel the need to escape from their responsibilities, and starting an affair gives them a separate little world where they can feel confident about their role. While it’s wrong and hurtful for your partner to stray when you are also struggling with feeling confident as a mom, this is his way of escaping from it all temporarily.
Seeing You In a Different Light
There’s no way around it. You have changed now that you have made it through pregnancy and childbirth, emerging from the whole process as a stronger person. However, your partner may not be able to cope with the concept that you are now a mother who still has sexual needs. Unfortunately, some men think of mothers as being asexual, which means he feels the need to step out to get his sexual needs met.
It’s only natural for your priorities to shift now that a newborn needs so much of your attention. Yet, some men just can’t handle that. Before pregnancy, your partner was the center of your world, and now he feels pushed off to the side as you snuggle with your little one. While you still need to take care of your baby, your partner’s feeling neglected can be a relatively easy situation to solve by working with an online counselor to find out how to bring back the balance in your relationship.
Differing Sex Drives
Pregnancy and childbirth wreak havoc on your hormones, and your body may still not be quite the same, even months after your baby is born. Whether you feel a lack of confidence about your new body or are just too tired to even think about getting romantic, it is possible that your partner is revved up and ready to go. Instead of waiting for their partner to be ready, some men seem to think that they’ve waited long enough and step out to cheat.
The sight of those little newborn toes give you a thrill, and you feel as though each new day brings something special to see. Yet, your partner may view all of the baby talk as boring. Since flirting and starting a new relationship is thrilling, your partner may try to fulfill this need for excitement with an affair.
Experiencing a Fear of Commitment
Having a baby together is a major step in your relationship, and your partner might not have been fully prepared for what this would entail. Some people sabotage relationships out of a fear of being hurt or feeling forced to commit when they are not ready. Figuring out the underlying reason for this fear is the only way to stop the urge to have an affair.
There is no excuse for being cheated on during pregnancy or after having a baby, but understanding why your partner might do this helps you see that it is not your fault. When you are dealing with the sting of an affair, reach out to our experts here at Cuppls who can help you regain your confidence and make those important decisions regarding the future of your relationship.