At some point, almost everyone questions and second-guesses aspects of their relationship. While this often occurs in the beginning of a relationship when you are trying to decide if someone is right for you, it is not uncommon to also reevaluate your long-term partnership as changes arise. Giving your relationship further thought is never a bad thing to do, especially if you are unhappy. However, it is important to consider these points before you make the decision on whether or not it is time to call it quits.
Is Your Partner Engaging In Abusive Behavior?
There are many types of abuse that occur in relationships, and some are so subtle at first that you may find it hard to figure out exactly what has gone wrong. For instance, a partner who insults you or downplays your concerns is engaging in emotional abuse that slowly erodes your self-esteem. Abusive behavior, such as hitting or making threats should always be taken seriously, and it may be necessary to leave the relationship to stay safe. Talking to one of our Cuppls Recommended Professional counselors can help you figure out if abuse is an issue in your relationship so that you can stop second guessing and begin taking steps to regain control over your happiness.
Are You Bringing Past Relationships Into Your Present One?
While second guessing your relationship can sometimes be a sign that something is wrong with your partner’s behavior, it can also signify that you have some work to do toward healing. For instance, someone who is recovering from a past partner’s affair may feel insecure in their new relationship. If this applies to you, then you may constantly wonder if your partner is telling the truth or get overly worried if they are an hour late arriving home from work. Make sure to learn how to work through your past relationship issues so that they don’t interfere with you being able to enjoy your new one.
Do You Struggle With Blending Your Families?
You were so happy to meet the perfect person for you, but then it all fell apart once you got married and tried to blend your families. It is normal for blended families to experience issues with things such as getting the kids to respect the other parent or finding ways to get stepsiblings to stop fighting. Remember that your marriage takes priority now, and you can more successfully work to blend your family by speaking with our counselors.
Have You Looked At How You Communicate?
Communication breakdowns are often at the heart of relationship issues, and it is possible to fix many of these issues by learning how to talk to and to listen to one another. Spend some time focusing on how you and your partner communicate to identify negative patterns such as talking over each other or even resorting to yelling. Since communication is a skill that can be learned with practice, it is possible to salvage your relationship when you both commit to making it work. Learning how to communicate more effectively also benefits every aspect of your relationship since actively listening to your partner means that you will learn things about them that you have never noticed before.
Are You Both Willing to Work to Make It Better?
There are times when second guessing a relationship means that you feel like you are the only one who is unhappy. Yet, it’s just as likely that your partner is also feeling discontent with the state of your relationship. Choose a time when everyone is calm to ask your partner how they feel about how things are going. You might just be surprised that they are also worried about the sudden increase in arguments or lack of passion that you feel. Realizing that your partner is also unhappy may hurt, but it is also a good sign that they will be willing to go to couple’s counseling with you to improve your relationship.
That gnawing feeling in your gut that something is wrong is often spot on for recognizing relationship problems. Yet, it may take some detective work to figure out why you are second guessing your relationship. Fortunately, identifying what is making you question everything is the best way to start finding answers. With the help of our counselors, you will have the ability to move forward in your relationship with confidence.