Let’s say you know how well relationship counseling works, either from a previous experience or what you were told by friends and associates. So, even though you’re feeling your current relationship can be helped by seeing a therapist or counselor, you aren’t quite sure how to broach the subject of therapy with your partner or how to pursue it.
Consider the Length of the Relationship
The therapy available from the professionals on Cuppls is for couples in new relationships, many year old relationships, and all the stages in between. But you have to determine if you are at the right point for treatment. For example, you might have started a relationship with someone in just the past few months. Ask yourself why it is that you are so eager to go to therapy.
Consider Your Answer
Taking a look at why you want to attend therapy at this point can reveal more information about your new relationship. You might want to seek the help of a therapist because you feel as though major relationship issues have already come into fruition. In the short period of time you have been together, you may not have even fully defined the relationship. Consider whether or not you actually want to be with this person. If the issues are already so immense, you may not be a good match.
Another reason you may want to seek the assistance of a therapist is because you do not want to deal with problems yourself. Therapists can be helpful for couples in resolving issues; however, the issue may lie more within your own resistance to discussion and confrontation than in your relationship with your partner. In this case, consider if starting with individual treatment is the best solution.
Know Your Partner
In the early stages of the relationship, you are still getting to know one another, especially if you have not yet defined the relationship as official. Someone whom you are casually dating might feel spooked at the idea of going to therapy so early on during your connection. Recognize that your suggestion of therapy might cause the person to turn away from the relationship. However, when you feel that therapy is an important step for you to take, realize that a person who quickly dismisses the idea might not be the right fit for you anyway. Knowing your partner well can give you a better idea of what to expect when you bring up the subject.
Find a Quiet Time
Imagine how stressed you are after a long day at work when you get home late and have to cook dinner. Now, add to that scenario your partner suddenly suggesting that the two of you need to start going to therapy together. Although you may want to speak to your partner the moment you see therapy as a possibility, keep in mind that the right time to talk can make a difference in whether he or she accepts your request. On a weekend when you’re both off from work, make a nice dinner together and then sit down to talk. Although you might like to enjoy wine together on the weekends, make sure that you keep it away while you have this conversation. You both should be in a clear frame of mind to talk about the issues and the possibility of therapy.
Name Your Reasons
Your new partner is probably going to want an explanation as to why you are interested in going to therapy and why you want to go so early in your relationship. Do not barrage your partner with a list of things that he or she has done incorrectly. You need to make sure that you are taking an equal role in the reasons to go to therapy as a couple. You should also be prepared to explain why you feel as though that is the only solution at this point, and you should expect your partner to offer some other solutions to the issues.
When you are in a new relationship, you want to proceed with caution so you don’t destroy the connection. However, the fact that you are honestly stating what you want from the beginning is a positive. It is understandable for a partner to hesitate when debating whether or not to seek out professional therapy help, but the reward is something that will solely strengthen your relationship and bring you both closer through the process.