Whether you’re just entering back into the dating field after a long-term relationship or you’ve been on countless dates in the past years, you’re looking for more than a one-time dinner. Instead, you want to find a person with whom you can build a long-term connection. Cuppls has advice for you on how to find the person and how to build solid relationships.
You may have a vision of yourself as a different person in your mind, and that is the person that you display to others. Therapists — and, yes, common sense — suggest that you just act like yourself. Ultimately, the person with whom you pursue a long-term relationship has to like you, not an imaginary version of yourself. Part of being yourself, however, is finding yourself.
In order to display your true self to the world, you need to know who that person is. The next time you have an inclination to try something new, go for it. When someone asks you a tough question, answer honestly. If you have always wanted to sign up for a class or make a new cuisine, do it. Having honest experiences with yourself is one of the best ways to find yourself.
As you are discovering your true being, you might want to hide elements of your identity. While you do not have to reveal every detail about your life on the first date, you also should not lie. When you lie, you introduce a negative feeling into the situation. Imagine how you would feel if someone lied to you on the first date; you would probably not want to pursue the relationship further.
Pursue your hobbies
If you want the relationship to work out, then you need to have some common interests. People who are religious can find their partners at their houses of worship; individuals who like to play sports may stumble upon their soul mates by joining an athletic club or team in town. You get to work on yourself by pursuing your hobbies, but you also get to meet people who have similar interests.
The right person is one who has your best intentions in mind. With the popularity of online dating, some people put themselves in dangerous situations. If you are going to meet people from the internet, you need to make sure that you do so in public places until you are comfortable with the person. Also, take caution when you sign up for dating sites or apps. If you do not have to pay money to do so, you may be entering a breeding ground for predators.
Evaluate your situation
When you want a long-term relationship, going to the local bar and flirting with every person around is not going to give off the right impression. Consider what you want in a relationship. Then, evaluate whether the signs and signals you are giving to other people convey that information. If not, adjust the way that you present yourself so that you have a greater chance of finding what you want.
If you have a feeling that the person across the room might be right for you, don’t be afraid to take a chance. You don’t have to immediately ask for his or her number; instead, you can start the conversation by commenting on the art hanging on the wall or asking where the person got the food he or she is eating. If the person has a mutual interest, the conversation can continue in a comfortable manner.
Sometimes, you may feel obligated to go on a second or third date with the person. You may know for sure that no chemistry exists, but you also think that the person is nice and friendly. While you are busy going on dates with this person with whom you see no future, you could be missing out on the opportunity to date the right individual. For the sake of everyone involved: end these types of relationships before they develop into something more, something you really don’t want.
Learning how to attract the right person involves some trial and error. Even if you do not find the right person as soon as you start to implement these tips, keep trying.