One of the hardest points in a marriage is that moment when you look at each other and know that this cannot go on any longer. Perhaps your partner strayed or you can no longer continue yelling in front of the kids. You may even feel like you live with a stranger if the stresses in your life have caused you and your partner to drift far apart from the loving couple that you once were. Although this point in a relationship feels hopeless, there is still a chance left for saving your marriage. In counseling, you can learn relationship tools that help you rebuild your marriage so that it is stronger, more satisfying and happier than before.
End Negative Behavior Patterns
Nagging, belittling, and yelling are just a few negative behaviors that erode your marital bonds. Yet, it is hard to know how to stop these behaviors once they become a part of how you relate to each other every day. In a recent study, the Statistic Brain Research Institute found that 19 percent of couples admit to not communicating well, and marriage counselors tend to find that this is one area where almost every couple can improve. Being able to recognize when you are about to engage in negative behavior and replace it with positive communication will help you end those arguments that could otherwise lead to divorce.
Find Healthy Ways to Deal With Issues
Spend a few minutes thinking about the last conflict that you had with your partner. Did you both decide to ignore the issue? Or, perhaps one of you “won” the argument while the other sulked in resentment. Either way, nothing gets resolved when one or both of you walk away from a conflict angry. Ignoring problems also allows them to fester until they explode into bigger confrontations. During your therapy sessions, our Cuppls counselors will help you learn how to walk through the appropriate steps of conflict resolution so that you can continue to improve your relationship even when you are not in therapy anymore.
Rekindle Your Former Passion
The Marriage Guardian reports that 9 percent of couples tell their counselor that one reason why they sought relationship therapy is that they no longer feel attracted to each other. It might feel taboo to say that you don’t find your partner attractive, but it is normal for passion to ebb and flow throughout the years that you are married. Part of this is due to changes in your lifestyle, such as having children or being stressed out by work, but a large part is simply drifting in separate directions over time. Marriage counseling gives you a chance to focus on your partner for what might be the first time in years, and seeing them in a new light helps to stoke the flames of passion in your hearts.
Demonstrate Your Commitment
The fact that you and your partner care enough to try to save your marriage through counseling says a lot about your love for one another, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. It takes hard work and sacrifice to make a marriage last, and realizing that your partner is willing to do what it takes reinforces the vows that you made. Although counseling takes time, sitting next to your partner and working together to make things better is a great step in the right direction for recommitting to your marriage.
When divorce is on your mind, it is time to take action and give your relationship one more shot. After all, your marriage has survived so much up to this point that it’s worth it to try to make it work. Talk to your partner today, and choose to talk to one of our relationship experts. Even if you have to do it alone, the difference that it makes in your life could be all it takes to save your marriage.