Whether you have experienced positive benefits of therapy in other areas of your life or your loved ones have discussed the positives of professional relationship help, you’re currently taking the opportunity to seek out therapy for your new relationship. In order to avoid immediately altering this new relationship into an old relationship, you should keep some tips and techniques in mind.
1. Gauge the situation.
Asking your partner upfront how he or she feels about therapy from a professional can get you an honest answer. Before you dive into this discussion, however, you may want to more casually get a sense of how your partner feels about therapy. For example, if you’re watching a movie or television show where the couple attends therapy, you can comment on how well the process seemed to worked for them.
2. Don’t scream and yell.
The next time that you get into one of those huge fights that virtually all relationships have, you may abruptly scream out that the two of you need to go to therapy. By introducing therapy as part of a hostile situation, you can generate negative feelings toward it. While you might be tempted to shout out this desire the next time that you fight, save that for when you discuss the problems after the blowout.
3. Don’t blame the other person.
Imagine that someone sat down and told you that you need to start going to therapy; you would probably feel attacked and blamed. When you want to obtain therapy from Cuppls or on your own, propose the sessions as something that you will do as a team, because that’s what therapy for couples is. Instead of telling the other person that he or she needs to seek out therapeutic services, you are making it clear that you feel the two of you need to seek assistance as a team.
4. Know your information.
When you speak to your partner about possibly of going to therapy together, he or she may want to know about the process. Not all people are familiar with how therapy works, and this lack of familiarity can prove frightening. While you likely cannot develop a plan until the two of you meet with a therapist, you can discover basic information that will help you to provide your partner with some details beforehand.
5. Explain your motivation.
You might think that the problems in your relationship are crystal clear, but that doesn’t mean your partner does. When you tell him or her that you want to attend therapy as a couple, you should explain why. Your partner might say that the two of you have been working on the problem, and you can explain that the results are not what you were hoping for. Simply saying that the two of you need to go to therapy can put your party on the defensive; explaining why makes the process seem more practical and realistic.
6. Offer payment solutions.
Your partner might immediately say that the two of you cannot afford to add any more expenses to your monthly budget. This issue can prove particularly problematic if the two of you tend to fight about money. That is why it is a good idea to have a plan in place when your partner asks how you will pay. You might have discovered that your insurance will pay for it, or you may know another place in your budget where you can cut back.
7. Respect your partner’s limits.
If you have already scheduled weekly therapy sessions by the time you sit down to speak with your partner, you may encounter a problem. During your therapy sessions, you are going to learn how to work together, and moving toward that goal should start now. Once you have both realized that therapy is the answer, you should work with the therapist to develop a plan.
8. Know when to stop pushing.
While you can tell your partner how much therapy means to you, you cannot force him or her to start attending. If your partner refuses to take this step to repair your relationship, you may have a sure sign that this person is not for you.
Working on your new relationship in therapy is possible, but you want to make sure you integrate some important tips into your plan. The professionals vetted and recommended by Cuppls are able to walk you and your partner through relationship therapy that will work on bettering your current situation and creating a lasting, healthy partnership looking toward the future.