Your friends had been hinting at it and you had convinced yourself it wasn’t happening. You had looked away. Then, in a moment, your life changed. Your husband was revealed as the unfaithful spouse you secretly feared.
Hopefully, this isn’t you, and won’t ever be you. The shock of realizing your husband wasn’t the man you thought he was is a very hard fact to face. At first, it might be impossible to understand how he could have betrayed you. It is common for a spouse to feel powerless or alone. However, recovering from an affair is not only possible; it’s essential. You’re going to beat this. You will recover from your cheating husband’s affair and be better and stronger for it. And here are some very good reasons why:
You’re Going to Realize You Aren’t Alone
Cheating happens. According to some studies, it’s more the rule than the exception. This can be hard to believe until it happens in your own relationship. All of a sudden, it will appear to you that the friend who may have been cheated on last year didn’t actually have a weak relationship after all. Cheating happens to the best of us, and when it does, it helps to discuss it with close friends with similar experiences. If you ask, you are certain to find them.
You’re Going to Realize You Are Beautiful and Desirable
A cheater cheats because he’s a cheater, not because he has judged you insufficient. We could use this space to list an entire Hall of Shame of famous Hollywood cheaters caught with women far less attractive than their glamorous spouses. Believe it or not, your husband actually believes you to be more attractive than the other woman.
You’re Going to Grow Through This Experience
The man often bears all of the blame when an affair happens. But as adults, we know this isn’t always true. Were you letting career or personal goals interfere with your marriage? Did you make an effort to stay close to him? Were your communications with him largely criticisms? Cheating can happen in the best of relationships, but in some cases, the man who cheats had long been pushed away. Take the time to think of what you might have done differently before the awful discovery.
You’re Going to Think of the Good Times
It’s tempting to think betrayal invalidates all the good times you had together. How could you have been so foolish to believe those times were real? What about the memories of those wonderful, romantic times together? Are they destroyed forever? The truth is, this isn’t realistic. It’s more likely he shares your great memories of those wonderful times and retains deep feelings for you. Don’t let the unsavory discovery destroy your beautiful life experiences – the ones you should be able to enjoy for a lifetime.
You’re Going to Forgive Yourself
When cheating is discovered, oftentimes the first person you blame is yourself. How could you have ignored all those signs? And what about those times you might have criticized or laughed at other women who were going through what you’re feeling right now? That hurts. But you’re going to need to forgive yourself of these things. They happen to many, many people.
You’re Going To Realize Your Husband is Only Human
Cheating happens for a variety of reasons, and is often initiated by someone other than the “cheater.” The cheater deserves his share of the blame for playing along and trying to get away with it, but it’s usually a bad idea to overburden them with blame. Realize your loved one hurt you, courageously confront your feelings, then move on with your life.
You’re Going to Seek Help
The discovery of an unfaithful spouse can seem a death knell for a relationship. But it doesn’t mean it will be. Millions of relationships have survived and even thrived after infidelity. That doesn’t mean it’s anything to be celebrated, but if you find yourself in this situation, relationship counseling for couples, like what’s offered by Cuppls, can help you get your feet back on the ground. Couples therapists can help you both understand the best way towards regaining trust in a relationship.
Trust us: You’re going to be OK. You’re going to survive your cheating husband’s affair, and you’re going to be better for the experience. You have the power within you, and never forget that.