A divorce is painful, even when you know that it is for the best. While you might have been looking forward to finding your freedom or escaping an abusive relationship, it is normal to find yourself still struggling psychologically in the aftermath of ending your relationship. In some instances, you may even feel worse than you did before the whole process of getting a divorce started. Understanding the four worst psychological effects on women after a divorce allows you to know that what you feel is normal so that you can work towards healing.
Struggling With Unrelenting Anxiety
Anxiety is the result of being unsure of the future. After a divorce, there are so many unknowns that it is easy for you to feel as though everything is piling up. For instance, you may be worried about how you will survive financially or raise your kids alone. Talking about your fears to a counselor allows you to get them out in the open where things do not look as scary. Often, just creating a plan to begin rebuilding your life helps ease these feelings of anxiety.
Dealing With Anger
You thought that a divorce would end all of those fights. Unfortunately, you still feel angry about how things turned out, and battles over child custody and support got heated. Now, you may not be fully happy with the arrangements that are set in place, and just thinking about how he got everything he wanted makes your blood boil. While divorce agreements are meant to last, it is better to be proactive and seek changes through mediation if you feel that the new arrangements are unfair. Taking action is a better solution that allowing yourself to stew in anger.
Facing Constant Feelings of Guilt
Guilt is a common side effect of divorce, and you may find yourself wondering if you had tried hard enough to make it work. This is especially true if the divorce was your idea, or you have kids who are dealing with the aftermath of their parents splitting up. Women with strong moral or religious beliefs against divorce may be at greater risk for feelings of guilt when even family and friends do not seem to understand. You can spend the rest of your life second-guessing your decision, or you can make the choice to do your best to make your new life better. Letting go of the guilt frees you to begin enjoying the best parts of your life.
Coping With Grief and a Sense of Loss
The loss of a relationship is heart wrenching, especially when you must now pick up the pieces and begin living life without the person who you once loved. If your identity was wrapped up in your marriage, then you may also be grieving your role as a wife or business partner to your spouse. Whether you find yourself crying as you go to sleep alone or you keep looking at the pictures from your wedding day, it is important to reach out to someone who can help you work through your grief and loss until you feel strong enough to move on.
Overcoming Psychological Trauma
Divorce tends to be more psychologically damaging for women who have a tendency to turn their pain and anger inward. Sadly, self-blame and depression only make it harder to recover from a divorce, and allowing these traumas to fester can lead to more serious issues down the road such as a fear of commitment or addictions. For this reason, it is best to seek counseling when you find yourself struggling with guilt or anxiety.
Being aware of the emotional trauma left behind by a divorce allows you to take the reigns and regain control when it comes to healing. As you work through this difficult time, remember that every trial just makes you stronger. Practice self-acceptance and surround yourself with people who lift your spirits so that you can heal.